So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
