I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
