I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
