It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
