I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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