im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
