Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
