Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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