I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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