sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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