So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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