Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
