I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
