pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
