Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
