So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
