Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you inspire me to be a worse person
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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