worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
