so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
