I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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