What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She even gives head with a lisp.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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