Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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