One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
