xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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