Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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