the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
