Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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