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• (805): View more from California

  i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you think the firemen will remember me?

  (315): View more from New York

  Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist

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• (727): View more from Florida

  We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.

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