Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions