All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
