remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.