we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
