Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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