the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
