South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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