New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have already put on my inside pants.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I need water and some morals
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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