My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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