y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
