What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
