I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
