we're blogging at a bar
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
