i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
