can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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