who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
