PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
