at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
