Who wears a wallet chain?!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
