This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize