Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
