Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
