I think I just saw someone hide a body.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
