but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If its not for food we ain't going out.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
