I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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