I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
