two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
whose ass print is on the piano?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
