can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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