you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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