I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize