Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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