I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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