you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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