Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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