my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
