Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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