i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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