so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
